Lego Universe

LegoEver since I was a wee nipper I have played with LEGO, those little coloured blocks from Denmark. Now I hear tell that there is a LEGO MMO coming out. Honestly, I’ve known about the LEGO MMO for some time now but last I checked the site was almost non-existent, but now theres quite a bit on info and quite a few mini-games on there.

The game is aimed at kids. Lets get this straight. Like Free Realms it’s cutesy graphics and myriads of mini games to keep the nippers occupied. The only thing is, it’s going to be more like  Second Life for kids than Free Realms.

What Second Life and LEGO have in common is the ability to build whatever your imagination can think up, and if you’ve ever been in Second Life you can see that some people have quite filthy imaginations. One of the main problems that will face LEGO are those people who will deliberatly attempt to create… shall we say… rather ‘blue’ items.

They’ll either need a decent heuristic for detecting the ol’ cock n balls constructs, a team of GMs looking out for this kind of thing (ie a Knob Squad), or delete content as it’s reported.

A Heuristic would be hard, and nigh on impossible to verify 100%, so that’d need to be put along side something else, either the Knob Squad or a report button.

The problem with a report button is that your children will already have been scarred by Jimmy McScroteface’s Giant Golden Phallus fountain by the time that person’s kicked and banned, and it’s also a problem with the Knob Squad (although it’s mitigated slightly by catching some early on)

Targeting a multiplayer sandbox game at kids is going to attract the nastiest kind of people, and I honestly worry that some kid is going to come across some guy’s LEGO orgy, (Remember Rule 34) his mum will be watching, and go straight to the tabloids.

I’m not saying it’ll be rampant. Far from it, but it only takes one voice to shout FIRE in a commuter train to cause a disaster.

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One Response to Lego Universe

  1. The Orange says:

    You have to pay for it? Because that would be a great way to prevent such problems. You are not going to build the “Jimmy McScroteface’s Giant Golden Phallus fountain” If you know that you will be banned from the game permanently. Not even the most annoying troll would pay money just for scaring some kids.
    Also, there’s enough room for pedos and other sickos in Club Penguin and Habbo Hotel. Have you ever seen a penguin trying to be naughty? It’s kind of traumatic.

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